Can we just say that September has been a really, really rough month!!!
I’m not just speaking of our islands in the Caribbean, but across the world. There has been so much devastation and tragedy.
I’ve been finding myself on my yoga mat more than usual… I mean I’m on it daily, but lately it has been for different reasons! Most times my mat is where I sweat, practice, work on my own stuff, prepare my sequences, and of course, do loads of savasana! But the past few weeks, it’s been a lot of sitting… and crying! And more sitting and crying. Not too sure what is going on, on our own little island, but there have been so many deaths. Tragic ones, close ones, not-so-close ones. Some of them have hit closer to home. Watching my friends live through their own loss, being there for them in any capacity. Listening and caring. It’s been hard. It definitely feels like a horrible time and awful cycle which all of us are wanting to end. I have been sad and have cried for most of September.
Everything has put me in tears this last month… from sad news, to tragic events, sadness for our neighbours and even missing my father’s birthday!
Most times I find myself on my mat to kick my own ass, to sweat like crazy and push my practice. But not this month. I have loved spending time in my bed, and the time spent on my mat has been to sit, catch my breath, check in to my thoughts and heart and send prayers of love to those who would need it. Restorative has been my best friend this month. It’s also a new class on my weekly schedule, and many people have been trying it, turning to it, loving it and realising they need it too! It’s been an amazing experience to share my space with my students and guide them through their journeys.
At this exact moment, I’m sitting in a coffee shop, crying as I write this! The lady next to me has just passed me a napkin, lol.
Everyone knows YOLO – You Only Live Once! or Life is Too short! Live in the NOW! This is all great motivation for everyday life… But when life punches you in the face, and even harder in your heart, you listen a little more then you usually would.
A young surfer died while surfing in the beginning of the month when Irma was passing us. He was friends with my son. Same age, both little blond surfer dudes. My son looked up to him as he was an amazing talented surfer, and always made the island proud. I don’t know the family very well, but it didn’t make his death less impactful or sad, or less absolutely tragic. As a mother, I felt things in my heart that hurt like it was being ripped out. An endless amount of tears has come out of me. Watching Luka, my son, cope with the loss of his friend was incredibly difficult. I’m not sure he even knew or knows how to deal with what happened and what is still left. I was very proud of him to have paid his respects and paddled out in his honour. It wasn’t easy, and he cried, but he did it. (Tears pouring down my face now!)
Anyway, all that to say, it’s been a really, really hard month.
I’ve been hugging him way more than usual and telling him I love him probably too much, but I don’t care. He needs to hear it and I need to say it. He might be the biggest pain in the ass, but he is MY pain in the ass and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Every day, I do what I can to keep him healthy and safe, but sadly, as we have all witnessed, sometimes life has other plans.
So when you get to your mat, and practice whatever it is you want or need to practice that day, count your blessings and dedicate your practice to someone who needs it. Send out intentions of love and light into the world. Carry a special thought or person in your heart as you go though your vinyasa or meditation.
Check into your own heart and breath. Listen to your thoughts and fill your whole body and mind with love, possibility and positivity. Be grateful for your life and your own body for allowing you to practice and live. And lastly, hug the crap out of the people you love, EVERY DAMN DAY!!!
